Part I of the article explored how strategies of Neuro-Linguistic Programing (NLP) may be used to gain instant rapport with clients, leads, and business affiliates, and more specifically, how to use physiology, matching and mirroring, to generate instant magic communications. Now, how do tonality and words establish rapport? While physiology makes up about 55% of communication among humans, tonality makes up about 38%. A lot of people have had the experience of someone saying, Im fine. Nothings incorrect. As the literal words indicate that this person doesn’t have a nagging problem, everyone knows that the tone used can speak louder than what. Someone yelling Im not mad, isn’t convincing. Should this happen in a sitcom, we chuckle.
In true to life, we dismiss the words and read the meaning from the tone of voice. Often tonality is more subtle than these examples, but it is a robust communicator still. The boredom, excitement, anger, melancholy, disbelief, questions, enthusiasm, honesty are more communicated through tone, rather than words. What do you intend to communicate to clients, leads, or business associates?
Make your tonality appropriate. Many people do business solely over the telephone. When talking on the phone, it is very important to understand tonality. Inside a phone conversation, both interpersonal people are communicating via their tonality, often unconsciously. Don’t leave tonality to chance. The enthusiasm, charm, friendliness as well as boredom, depression, and annoyance are communicated through sound. If you are talking to someone, who has a high-pitched tone of voice raise your pitch just a little.
Like matching and mirroring, you don’t want to imitate. Don’t be dramatic, be delicate. Match the previous few words someone says. Speed is important. Individuals who speak are often impatient with people who speak slower fast. People who speak at a slow speed are often turned off by people who speak rapidly.
For somebody who naturally talks fast, slower speaking people appear to take forever to say something. For someone who naturally speaks slowly, the fast talker seems hyper, insincere. The cliche fast talking city slicker captures this idea. I used to be in New York giving a display; the individual who presented before I did require more than her allotted time.
My presentation was cut brief. I started speaking to what I consider broadband and informed everyone that I was speaking fast because I needed to complete my entire display. Several audience users said and laughed, Were New Yorkers. Regardless of how fast you talk, it fast won’t be too. I couldn’t match their speed. In contrast to New Yorkers, I visited a detailed friend in Georgia whose southern drawl was sluggish, hypnotic, and relaxed. Notice timbre and quantity!
Volume of voice can be very effective with somebody who is angry. A couple of years ago, I angered another professor unwittingly. As he became more angry, his voice grew louder. I kept my tone of voice soft, and low, believing that would relax him. I viewed rather mystified as he grew more angry as I managed my voice, wanting to sound relaxed and in charge.
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If someone is upset, try to match the volume of his voice without coordinating the anger. It may feel strange but matching the volume creates rapport. There is an added thing to bear in mind for telephone rapport. If you are the person contacting, the pace is defined by you for the phone call. When you have high energy, excitement, enthusiasm, you will put the person on the other end of the line into a much better mood. You can keep up with the energy, excitement, and enthusiasm while matching the tone, tempo, timbre, and volume.
This was a model for me about a year ago. I wasn’t feeling great and was down in the dumps rather. I phoned a business. The woman who answered the phone was energetic and excited. I experienced a shift in my mood immediately. When I hung up, I used to be in a better mood.
A few weeks later while I met this girl, I was predisposed to like her. She got immediately set up rapport beside me. Use your physiology to get you in an enthusiastic mood: sit up straight, smile, and tell yourself you’re excited. Dial the phone Then. Words may only take into account 7% of our communication, but it can be an important 7% and complex than different ways of establishing rapport. When communicating, predicates (verbs), key term, common encounters, and associations are essential in establishing rapport. Common associations and experiences are obvious. These areas are often the bases of friendships and business associations.